


If The World Was Blind How Many people Would You Impress?

by BohemianGustav



Category: Supernatural, The Avengers
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianGustav/pseuds/BohemianGustav
Summary: The moonlight across his skin shows nothing to what he is feeling





	If The World Was Blind How Many people Would You Impress?

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy

_Hi, it's_ me, _Dean. You already know who I am, your brother. The one guy thats weighing you down and all that._

 

_I just wanted to talk to you one last time before I went. I feel its freeing to be able to die on my own terms instead of someones elses terms._

 

_I have felt a strong need to tell you my bullshit in the last few days, which really fucking put me through a fucking loop. I really freaking miss you man, I've missed you ever since yesterday and the day before that. Sometimes I understand why people choose to forget, or are happy when they have amnesia, or any other type of same crap. You know why I think that, Sammy? Because this so called "beautiful world" we live in so full of shit that peoples only escape is no longer through music but through suicide. This world throws people so far down the rabbit hole that they just decide, you know what? Fuck it. Lemme die and see who will indefinitely not give two fucking shits about me. Lemme see about that._

 

_Well, I guess the same thing happened to me. And by the way, I wasn't trying to make you upset. This isn't supposed to make people upset. I hardly doubt anyone will even notice, you're pratically my last relative. I don't have a ego, dumbass and I ain't doing this out of any selfish need to gain attention. I ain't. I love you, platonically n all that. But I can't stay here anymore, you've got to know what that feels like. That lady, Death, she showed me shelves upon shelves with ways that I would die, promising everything would be fatal._

 

_We're not the same people we were in 2008. Hell, we aren't the same people we were since I was four and you were only six months old. Sam, you don't know yet that I slipped a whole bottle of pills into my alcohol. I've gone to a club, it's actually where I'm writing this. Eminem is blasting on the speakers. Its chilly in here, but it won't matter in a few hours. Hey, smartass college boy, I bet you know that a body goes cold when it dies. I think about asking them to do something about it but eh, death right! Cold right!_

 

_Anyway, I am not good with this touchy feely crap. I haven't been since I was young. Everything Dad taught seems to have been ingrained into my freakin' brain. Woo-fuckin'-hoo. Go Dads! Yep._

 

_Whatever, Ive gotta go. Dont wait up, buddy._

 

_Love,_

 

_Dean, big brother._

 

Dean sits in the bar, lonely. Again. He peers around it, he continues to stare at his bottle of alcohol as if mesmerised by it. He looks at himself through the sheen glass, his face his white and he feels cold. He grabs his jacket and bustles it around him despite his words in his letter.

 

“Hey! Dude, I was talking to you!” A guy yells, and Dean turns just in time to be socked in the jaw. He turns blindly and finds himself on the ground. He nurses his jaw, stands up wearily, and stares the guy right in the eye.

 

“What do you want?” Resigned, he can hear himself now. He mentally laughs at himself for being so pathetic. He's Dean fucking Winchester what is he doing? Ah thats right, not dying on his own terms. Thats also right. Again.

 

The guy cocks an eyebrow at him. “Why are you here?”

 

“I think I should be asking you why you punched me in the face, John Cena.”

 

“I am not John Cena.”

 

“Well fuck me, who could'a guessed?” He snarks in reply, crossing his arms to keep his shaking hands to himself.

 

The guy shakes his head, and grabs a beer from the shelves. He snatches Deans alcoholic beverage straight outta his hand. “You dont wanna drink this, bud.” The guy says, Dean thinks he looks kinda sad. “I know the way down that road and it ain't happening to you.”

 

Dean snorts, and goes to stand up only to be tugged back down again. “Sure. Whatever. The earth will keep spinning even if I die anyway, dude, so...Lets get this over with.” He makes a hand gesture to return the bottle. He can't do this any longer. He doesn't want to fight the good fight anymore. 

 

“You know how many of my family members committed suicide this year? Or even decent strangers like yourself?” The guy asks, turning away from him and chucking his drink down the drain. The pills follow closely with the drinks flavoured water. The guy officially looks angry. “Seriously? Man, come on!” 

 

Dean ignores him. “How many?”

 

He quiets down, lips turning down into a frown. “Two. We were pretty close.”

 

“What happened?” He asks, making sure he doesn't like an obnoxious asshole this time. More gentle, he supposes. And he waits.

 

The guy chuckles, short and self deprecating. “They couldn't take it anymore, I guess. The first one, James Rhodes. He was a military guy, he had a pretty horrendous mission - Came back four months later with a nasty case of PTSD. He committed suicide two weeks ago. The second one, Clint Barton. Suffered from Schizophrenic burts where he thought he was under Lokis control and all that crap. His girl tried to reassure him he would get there in the end..But, he jumped off of Stark Tower just barely a year ago. Im heading to his grave tomorrow with my guy.”

 

Dean hisses, like it hurts. Like he feels the guys pain. “Whats your name?” Although he feels he ready knows.

 

“It's Stark. Tony Stark.”

//////////////////////////////////////

 

Dean and Tony walk close together. Its been a week since Dean nearly tried to end his life and Tony was barely hanging onto the rails, but they're feeling good now, too. They're out with all the Avengers crew and working their way towards The Shawarma area. Tonys favourite food. Or spaghetti.

 

Dean pipes up finally, staring at the sign which is proudly proclaiming 'BEST SEAFOOD FOOD IN THE CITY'. "Dude, what is this?" It was meant to be for anyone to answer, but Tony always gets the first word in. 

 

"As it says, the best fucking seafood in the city of New York!” Tony barely keeps from shouting, Steves hand comes flying into view and plants it straight over Tonys mouth. Tony licks it.

 

Steves face scrunches up. Dean laughs. “Gross, Tones. Gross.”

 

“At least you cant catch my variety of diseases, Cap.”

 

(NOT DONE)

**Author's Note:**

> Have a good day


End file.
